rants by Ariane su kanji

hmmm... been a crazy weekend. the short, bulleted version:
*friday 2 friends came over, drank a bottle of vodka between the three of us with dinner (stir fry for the 3rd time that week)
*we went over to another co-ops house where I got to smoke my first cigar (interesting method of bonding)
*went out to several clubs where for the first time in a while i was in the mood to 'seduce the room' and only damped slightly by the fact that several co-workers were there too
*got up way too early after staying out way too late to have coffee then book it to commencement
*commencement was sad - the president is retiring after 28 years, and 3 of my really good friends just graduated so i was feeling kinda lonely
*head to detroit for the rest of the weekend to help a friend move into his new house. he was stressing about things not being set up yet (duh brand new) so he wasnt spending time with me like i wanted him to. oh well.
*i feel like im growing up, and im not sure if i like it....

Cardio For the Brain
Stuck for an idea? In a creative slump? Here are some ideas to shake things up.
What is creativity? Where does it come from? How do we get it? We may or may not ever get a precise answer to those But we do know this. The brain is a muscle. And like any muscle it works better, faster – and yes – more creatively when it’s in shape. Here are some exercise tips.
* Listen to music by Johann Sebastian Bach. If Bach doesn't make you more creative, you should probably see your doctor.
* Brainstorm. If properly carried out, brainstorming can help you not only come up with sacks full of new ideas, but can help you decide which is best.
* Always carry a small notebook and a pen or pencil around with you. That way, if you are struck by an idea, you can quickly note it down. Some 90% of your ideas will probably turn out to be dumb. Don't worry, that's normal. What's important are the 10% -- or maybe just one -- that might be brilliant.
* If you're stuck for an idea, open a dictionary, randomly select a word and then try to formulate ideas incorporating this word. You'd be surprised how well this works. The concept is based on a simple but ironic truth: freedom inhibits creativity. There are nothing like restrictions to get you thinking.
* Define your problem. Make notes, and define your problem in detail. Chances are, the ideas will follow.
* If you can't think, walk. A change of atmosphere is good for you and gentle exercise helps shake up the brain cells.
* Read as much as you can about everything possible. Books exercise your brain, provide inspiration and fill you with information that allows you to make creative connections easily.
* Argue. A little debate can be like wind-sprints for brain cells. But remember: Arguing about the best movie ever made is good. Arguing about who does more around the house is not.

Ouch, I hurt! Yesterday was the spring volunteer event at work and about 20 hourly and salaried people got together to help out a local food bank. We emptied out the place, took up the carpet, painted the walls, put down lineolium tile, re-assembled the shelving, and put back the foodstuffs in a little less than 12 hours. I was pretty amazed what all we got accomplished and the place looks lots better. Stairs right now are painfull, even with the addition of several aspirin to my system. Lifting stuff, waliking, breathing... man, that was a killer all day workout. Good for quads and hamstring, traps, and shoulders.

On another note I was talking to one of my friends who reads this (yay for you guys and me not just writing to the air - i love my commentors) about my post from last week, the Dirty Vegas 'All or Nothing' song lyrics, and we are chatting along and I mention that "'all or nothing' doesn't leave much room for emotional distancing." I really think that is a rather astute observation on my part as far as how I deal with relationships. I am willing to go so far emotionally, but no further, and when I start to sense trouble, I am pretty quick do pull back emotionally. Found myself thinking about that a little more than I expected.

Cheesecake RB stronger than Lactaid.

This is going to be a neat week. Dinner tonight at my place with a friend, tomorrow one of my friends that graduated is moving from Texas to Michigan and is passing through, so is going to stop by, Friday night another friend is coming down from school to go hit the town, and Saturday is commencement. After that I won't stick around - all my friends are already gone home for the summer or are graduating and will be busy doing family stuff, and instead of coming back home to Bloomington, i get to go help the aforementioned friend move in to his new place in MI. yay for labor day weekend! Gonna be busy...

I went back to TH over the weekend and was able to pick up my most recent online purchases. I heart Amazon.com. There was a small padded envelope with my new pedometer - a fancy way to say 'device that counts the number of steps I take' and a ginormous box. This box was something like 28"x24"x18" and inside was a lot of packaging and my new rice cooker (dimensions appx 16"x16"x12"). What a waste of cardboard... good lord.

Anyway, I bought the pedometer to see how much I actually walk in a day (feels like 3 or 4 miles somedays at the plant) and yesterday I walked 9355 steps, or assuming a 2.5 foot stride (3 seemed a bit big) about 4.4 miles. wow. You (meaning people) are supposed to walk 10,000 a day for fitness.... I'm curious to see if there are any trends.

Dirty Vegas - All or Nothing
I have been out of my head/Hanging on by a thread/To the world I'm missing
Did I fall asleep at the wheel/Get the looks that could kill/'Cos I'm not listening
There must be a better way/There must be a way to change/All of us were scared to say.../So this is all or nothing
Never know what the future will bring/Leave the past 'cos it don't mean a thing/So this is all or nothing/Never know what the future will bring/Leave the past 'cos it don't mean a thing/So this is all or nothing
Did I beat myself up again/Hide it all from my friends/I can hear them whispering
There must be a better way/There must be a way to change/All of us were scared to say.../So this is all or nothing/Never know what the future will bring!

uh oh... tonight promises to be fun... but tomorrow promises to be painful... mmmm tequila

Yes Daddy, I know you dont necessarily approve of my drinking and I dont always promise to make quality decisions when it comes to quantity. But I promise that I will maintain a safe environment and know my limits. I also accept the consequences of the occasional decision to get completly trashed :-)

Interesting evening this one. I found out that the nasty-o-gram sender has been a complete spaz lately and who knows what I did to trigger this attack, but I was in all likelyhood just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Feel my wrath or something I guess. Still not going to go to that part, but it is good to get confirmation that I was not inadvertantly doing something harmful or hurtful.

On a second note, I saw Shrek 2 this evening. Go see it! That was a lot of fun, definately a repeat performer if I may say so. Dreamworks has been doing a nice job with this series, hopefully the next one is as fun as this. Oddly enough, about two minutes before the previews started, my ex Court walks in. We both have approximately the same reaction of "Holy crap, this is a new one" which is weird since hes already finished his course work and graduated in Feb and I live an hour from school right now for work. So to see him at the theatre was kinda odd to say the least.

The heading: Lakers Fans of the Week.
The quote: "Snoop Dogg, left, with giant foam finger, and Bishop Don Magic Juan, right, with giant pimp cup, cheer on the Los Angeles Lakers at Game 6 of teh NBA Western Conference semifinals against the San Antonio Supurs Saturday in Los Angeles"
Is it just me, or should the words 'pimp cup' not be in the entertainment of a small newspaper....

Todays rant: Nasty-o-grams
This one gets a 'wow', a couple of blinks, and another 'wow' when I think about it. I get home after working out planning on cooking some dinner and cleaning up. Of course, Rose tool that I am, I check my e-mail after unloading my groceries, 13 new e-mails. Junk, Junk, Junk, Junk, WHOA! A nasty-o-gram that is not only a slap to the face, its a disinvitation to a party too! From an invititation that was sent to my entire chapter.

I quote (or at least cut and paste) "I know that you got the chapter email about my job keg, but I want to let you know that you're not welcome to come. I don't appreciate the
way you treat me or my friends, and I don't want you at my house. This is not just my party, there are 4 of us and we are personally inviting a small group of people. If you do show up, you will be asked to leave." Somebody, anybode have a clue??? I sure as hell don't as to what I apparently did to piss her off. Yes, she is friends with Will and I did not handle that particular situation anywhere near as well as I should have, and she is friends with my Sunday morning coffee buddy who is one of my favorite people and whom I would never say a negative thing about. And I haven't even talked with her, like sat down and talked with her, or her little sis, in at least a year. She lives with my big sis who I havent spent enough time with, but again, nothing negative. No clue what is going on, but I know I wont even bother going to a 'private party' with at leat 60 people invited (real small) and an open invitation on her profile.

Pisses me off - I haven't seen this kind of stupid, unncessary shit since I started falling out with the guy I dated Sophomore year of college. And I honestly think that was only partly my doing then. ::noise of frustruation:: grow up! you graduate in barely more than a week, do you really want to leave this kind of bad feelings behind?

I love fruit :-) My dad and I have a saying at home that goes: This is my favorite kind of fruit - peeled! My mom spoils us of course with oranges, apples, cantaloupe, cucumber, the list goes on and on. When I was up in MI one of the gents I was with got me started on the naval oranges the hotel had out front and every time I start to peel an orange now I remember the surprise and the smile on his face when I produced the last two from my bag and gave him one. I liked those people.

Cool, I think this means that I don't have to log on to the hosting service anymore to post and publish, I can just send an e-mail... which incidentally will allow me to spell check :-)

So that was me all excited... and here is what I got: Your message could not be posted because of the following reason(s): puckloki.password@blogger.com, Invalid Content Type
Grrr. I wrote Blogger and we'll see what they have to say. Wish I could type.

This really pisses me off. Some asshole decided it would be a good prank to hack into one of the admin staff's email account and spam the entire campus nude pictures of one of the professors and his wife as a prank. I mean, goldfish in the shower, jello in the pool, those are one thing and not really harmful to anyone, well, the golfish, but that is besides the point. So somehow they got these pictures of him and his wife and the password to the staff member's account and sent these pics to everyone! Everyone! The tech center guys caught the first one and were like 'hmmm... what is this?' but waited too long and another copy got sent out and they missed it that time. I haven't heard anything from admin since, but I am really dissappointed that someone, anyone would think this hurtful thing was funny.

Is there something about me that says 'use me'? I am tired of being the tissue for people (read boys) when things aren't going right. Suck it up! If it isn't working, fix it! You're 2 weeks from being an engineer damnit! I sure as hell didn't step out of your life like you requested to have you come to me snivelling that life sucks. Suck it up, if I thought you were a spineless lump, I would not have put up with you in the first place, but do not expect me to have sympathy when you are stuck in the hole you have buried yourself in. Like I said, good luck, have faith, and remember D=Diploma while F!=Diploma. Oh, and I am proud to be a tool.

You know that:
You know you have been working too much when sleeping until 6am is sleeping in.
You know you have been working too much when a 10 hour day is a short one.
You know you have been driving too much when 50 miles is a short jaunt.
You know you have been away from home too much when you are afraid to open the fridge for fear of what you will find there.
You know you have done too little cooking when you're glad to cook on an electric stove.
You know you have been around fridges too much when you can tell what kind one is in a movie (yay product placement).

yay for being home! my room is of course trashed, but hey, I haven't lived there in almost a month. I got to go grocery shopping last night for the first time in three weeks.

Hmm... I am both kinda excited and kinda sad. This is my last post from MI, short term or long term, I am not sure which. I am not going to miss the drive up here, the long hours, the grease baked into my skin, and living in a hotel. But I am going to miss the people, both from the company I work for and our supplier. They are some incredible people, and I have learned a ton about being corporate. I am going to miss the random dinner conversations, especially since the showing of SNL Celebrity Jeopardy ("it's funny, yeah, because it's bigger than a normal hat"), the friendly rivalry about athletic prowess, the agression on the go-kart track when we finally make it there at 7:30 for those few minutes of unabashed release of testosterone. I am going to miss the quiet moments splitting an orange with Pat, and his smile of surprise when I remembered to snag one for him. I am going to miss the feedback about my growth as a young professional engineer and that kind of closeness I feel from the man who stepped up and did some mentoring, even though it was not in his job description. I know I have grown and learned a lot, and I learned that I still have a long way to go, til I can command respect and earn respect, and be able to go into a mess and come out with it a little less chaotic, a little more efficient, a little more streamlined, and a little smarter. Hey, I get to go home. :-)

Hee hee, office conversation quote: "Now that is a man who can tell the flavor of icecream by sitting on it"

Hmm.. That is irritating. My tag board died. Sorry guys :-/ I'm going to give it a few days and then if nothing has happened get a new one.... 5 Minutes Later... Yay for blogspot! they have comments now! go buh-bye tag board, hullo comments. schweet.

Wow, it has been a busy weekend. I managed to escape MI before noon on Friday and head home to b-town where I promptly proceded to pass out until 8 am Saturday. Last week one of my friends had called at like 2am because he was bored and couldn't sleep (in his defense -sort of- it was only 1am his time). I called him on Friday night and told him I was a much better person for not retaliating and calling him when I got up that morning at 4:30 his time and left him a 'nice' message. I got up the next morning to a message from him vowing that since I really was a better person, he would have to make it up to me by buying me a slice of cheesecake. It really starts a day off nice to wake up to promises of sweet gooey deliciousness.

Saturday I headed to the Haute for lunch chez Will where if we had been dating he would have broken up with me, but we weren't, so we didn't. Kinda frustruating to have someone you like but where you have such different expectations from the future and the possibilities for anything are so small. Doesn't help that I am an hour away and he graduates in like 3 weeks. oh well. dunno what will happen there.

Anyway, after that I headed over and Dylan and I did a second lunch - he had a sandwich and I had coffee - and then headed to the mall where we tooled around buying earrings for me and PS2 games for him... I was really close to buying Dynasty Warriors 4 and making him loan me his console for the week. Probably a good thing I didnt. For dinner we dragged a bunch of the Skinner voles (or do I mean moles, or maybe hermit would be a better word) out for Thai and then all went and saw Van Hellsing. Definately a good time. The special effects were of course amazing, although the plot and character development left a bit to be desired. They also left plenty of room for a sequel. I am really getting tired of Hollywood's current tendency to sequalize everything. Some things, yeah, I can see, but dont write the damn things for one. Grrrr.

Sunday morning was of course coffee with Matt and Baron, who is now just about too big and wild to be able to go with us. I decided to walk him the additional mile and a half to Matt's but even still Baron was pretty wired when we got back to his place, tho he promptly proceded to crash when we got back to Mel's. I'm kinda pouting since Matt is also graduating and will no longer be the best thing about Sundays. Again, Grrrr.

Sunday afternoon I then went to the opera. Rigoletto. Pretty cool. New definition for 'nosebleed seats' but hey, they had the supertitles, voices with no need for amplification and these funny little dots playing at having lots of sex on stage. I was amused since I was not used to seeing that kind of thing outside of Alvin Ailey or Carmina Burana, well, any ballet at least. I guess I was under the false impression that since the opera was for the upperclass, they would not have approved of such low class behavior. The damned bus driver got lost on the way there tho. Took almost an extra 30 minutes, and I know I could have done it in half the time he did. Stupid man and not asking for directions. At dinner, finally, Marcus (my date for the day) and I along with Martin and Alfred were discussing the performance and how it would have been different if a woman had written it. All other things aside, I felt that the women would have been less dumb and the man-whore (the Duke) would have gotten his come-uppance instead of the girl dying for him even though he had been sleeping with another girl and she knew it.

Second dinner was me, Marcus, Todd, Dave, and Andy finally making good on a promise standing since October or so to go out and have sushi. We went to the place I used to work and I just asked the waitress to have the sushi chef make us a platter with $75 worth of sushi. I knew he would make us something way cooler than we would order, and be a lot more than you would get a la carte for that kind of quality. So we are waiting for our 'boat' and it comes up - again - about Dave's "conquest" from the evening before. The girl had come over and even though he had given her what I would consider to be 'I'm not interested' signs, when he had pretended to pass out she still was trying to get him up for stuff. Wow. He was very thankful that a couple of his friends had come by and shooed them out, otherwise that could have been a large sticky situation. hee hee. poor dave. The sushi was awesome, the sake delicious, and the company better than all of it. I really miss being around those guys, the friendly banter, the jokes about which m-sys problem sucks more, a little bit of japanese thrown in for good measure. ::sigh:: I like working and making money, but I will be glad to get back into school. Not for the work, but for the company.

I am really tired of every day being pick on Ariane day...

Saliva - Always

I hear... a voice say "Don't be so blind".../it's telling me all these things.../that you would probably hide.../am I... your one and only desire.../am I the reason you breath.../or am I the reason you cry...

Always... always... always... always... always... always... always.../I just can't live without you.../I love you.../I hate you.../I can't live without you.../I breathe you.../I taste you.../I can't live without you.../I just can't take anymore.../this life of solitude.../I guess that I'm out the door.../and now I'm done with you...

I feel... like you don't want me around.../I guess I'll pack all my things.../I guess I'll see you around.../Inside... it bottles up until now.../as I walk out your door.../all I hear is the sound...

Always... always... always... always... always... always... always.../I just can't live without you.../I love you.../I hate you.../I can't live without you.../I breathe you.../I taste you.../I can't live without you.../I just can't take anymore.../this life of solitude.../I guess that I'm out the door.../and now I'm done with you...

I love you.../I hate you.../I can't live without you.../I left my head around your heart.../Why would you tear my world apart.../Always... always... always... always...

I see... the blood all over your hands.../does it make you feel... more like a man.../was it all... just a part of your plan.../this pistol's shakin' in my hands.../and all I hear is the sound...

I love you.../I hate you.../I can't live without you.../I breathe you.../I taste you.../I can't live without you.../I just can't take anymore.../this life of solitude.../I guess that I'm out the door.../and now I'm done with you...
I love you.../I hate you.../I can't live without you.../I love you.../I hate you.../I can't live without you.../I just can't take anymore.../this life of solitude.../I pick myself off the floor.../and now I'm done with you.../Always.../Always.../Always...

I've been saving up :-)

I am really not used to getting hit on this much! It is hella flattering, but c'mon, a girl can't get too full of herself, right? Naw, the guys on the floor are really nice, and makes for a much shorter day to boot.

I really like that the people here are allowed to listen to music while on shift. The jobs I have had over the last 6 years (wow, has it really been that long???) have all had a varying degree of freedom allowed when it comes to music, and i have invariably liked the ones that allow that small thing more. Maybe it is just the implied freedom to express some small amount of individuality, or that the places that let you are more relaxed with some of the more corporate type standards, but still. There is something really nice about being able to groove along to whatever happens to be on the radio while cranking through something, be it homework, miles, or parts. I got to drive to LA (the state, not L.A. the city) which is 13 hours from my school, and in silence I can do maybe an hour at a time before I am mentally worn out, less if it is late and I am physically tired too, but I had the brilliant idea to get a casette player and headphones and I could cruise for 3 hours easy. The mental fatigue was no longer an issue... very nice on that one. I was pretty proud of myself. And of course the best kind of book on tape is a trashy romance :-) anything that involves "heaving bosoms," "his manhood," and "wrapping his big hands around her corseted waist" is going to be a good time. These are the kinds of books that Fabio would pose for covers with some half uncovered woman with her bosoms mostly showing. These are the books that can be easily written in a couple of weeks and sell thousands of copies across the country to people like me who just want something kinda fun to read. So yeah, I like that stuff, not to read all that much, but for a 6 hour drive in the car, makes it feel like just a few moments, no matter how bad the traffic is.

So Friday I am about to head home to Indiana at around 3. I had waited that late instead of leaving at noon since I would get home only a little later and miss all the traffic in Indy, and put in a couple more hours helping out. I go to my car, toss my stuff in and grab my sandals, take off my docs, put the sandals on, grab my purse and promptly procede to lock my keys in the trunk. doh! I call Enterprise, no help what so ever. Maintenance ends up helping me since they have a lock pick and jimmy kit and we spend 2 hours trying to break into my car. Of course GM vehicles are the hardest to break into (go Honda). Finally we get smart and realize the keys are in the trunk so all we have to do is get that trunk button pushed and we are golden. About 4 minutes later we have assembled a long pole and are in. Whoo baby! I've never had to break into my own car before. Quite an interesting situation with 3 people in various levels of dress clustered around a Buick doing what had to look like something highly illegal. Fun stuff.

Then Saturday I have a Pansy Brunch, a wedding shower, bachelorette party, and a frat party, all of which I was either late to, or missed. grrr. Was not a good day, but getting in to TH as late as I did was of no help. Sunday was coffee as usual with the addition of Baron this week (he is getting soooo big! strong little pup), then lunch with 'Naka and the culture fest at school. Sunday was also Kubota Sensei's Birthday, so we had the mariachi band play happy birthday for her and gave her a present and then invited her out to dinner with a handful of us that had planned to go. Lots of food... mmm kaizeki bento...

Then this morning was hit the road at 5:50 (EST) to get to MI, arrive at just after noon (EDT) and get to work.